I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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