You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize