sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
