Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
