He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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