walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
