We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
