throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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