I want to make a zoo with you.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
