hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Randomize