Where did you get a picture of my penis
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
