I just threw up on my dentist
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
and you fell through a lawn chair
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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