Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
