if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Alive.
So much puke
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
