Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Where did you get a picture of my penis
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
True strength comes from lack of pants
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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