tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
