Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i just google imaged poop.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
