if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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