i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
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