her vagine was all disorganized.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
