I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
