Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
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He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
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you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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