I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
