she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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