2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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