I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Sexist Restaurant Owner Tells Woman To ‘Keep Her Legs Open’ After Firing Her
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
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She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.