I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
