plz talk dirty to me
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
