When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
