is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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