I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
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He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
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So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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