He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
