I think im going to throw up on grandma
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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