I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
