Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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