We got so high we made milksteak
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
