Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
