i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
operation have a gay friend backfired
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
