i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
