fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize