okay pat passed out under dana's car
Girls should come with a carfax report
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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