Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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