I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Watching her eat just hurts me
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
