I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
