I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize