Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
