cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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