I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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