its not stalking. its research.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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