hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Girls should come with a carfax report
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
We don't watch enough power rangers
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
