I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
