Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
