Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Randomize
