Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I smell stomach acid.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
