That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
My first STD was from a foam party
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
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