You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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